Paul's Blog


Parenting is not for Cowards

'From the time my first child was very small, I knew I was in trouble.  The running joke at our house between Rachel and me was that we didn’t have one strong-willed child, everyone was strong-willed … even the dog!  When one of the children was a preschooler, we were at my parent’s home in Austin, Texas.  Rachel was correcting the little angel after she had disobeyed … that child (who will remain nameless to protect her dignity) kept her head down and kept shoveling in the cereal.  Grandma intervened and said, “Honey, your mommy is talking to you …?”  To which our little cherub responded without looking up, “I hear-ed her, Grammy” … and, it was ON! 

 

Before any of us have children, we assume we will never repeat the mistakes our parents made or other's mistakes we have witnessed.  In our mind’s eye, all of children will turn out like the little girl on this video:

 

The reality, however, is that parenting is a challenging and full time activity that is not for the faint of heart or those who are not willing to be stretched and challenged to grow personally. As far as parenting, Rachel and I are still in the midst of it and not in a place to tell anyone what works and what does not.  However, between Biblical truth and practical observation of others who have raised their children, I offer a few suggestions as a follow-up to last Sunday’s sermon:

 

  1. YOU CANNOT GIVE AWAY WHAT YOU DO NOT POSSESS – in other words, you must have a growing walk with Jesus yourself if you want your children to love and live like Jesus.  What are you waiting for?  Make a commitment to daily time with the Lord and attend some of the classes offered at CBC to help you grow in your relationship with God.

 

  1. ONE SIZE PARENTING DOES NOT FIT ALL KIDS – Every child is a unique mixture of personality, talents, experiences and environment.  Parenting every child the same way is a mistake and those who advocate this approach twist and misinterpret scripture to get it to fit their model.  Living for the Lord yourself, being consistent in your approach to discipline, training your children to understand the “why’s,” … these are all important but often require varying approaches based upon the child or the phase of life they are in at the time.

 

  1. ALL THE TIME – take advantage of every experience, television show, walk in the park  ... every interaction with your children to affirm specific truths about God and godly living.  I remember hitting a  parked car in the parking lot at a Home Depot one time and explaining to my 6 year old son why it was important to accept responsibility rather than just drive off … not my best day but still a teachable opportunity.

 

  1. SET APART SPECIFIC TIME FOR DISCIPLESHIP – early in our family life, I was very discouraged each time I tried to get 2-3 preschoolers to be quiet and still long enough for me to say anything meaningful … so I gave up, then I re-tried again later, gave up, re-tried, gave up, re-tried ....  Maybe you can relate?  Hang in there, don’t give up – no matter how old your kids are.  Make a time that works best for everyone.  There are some great resources for you to use.  Right now, I am working through a devotional guide written by Josh McDowell for families.  Each morning while the kids eat their breakfast, I read the devotional to them, field a couple of questions then we pray.  All total, 6-7 minutes a day but it has opened the door to some terrific conversations.

 

  1. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF CHURCH DISCIPLESHIP OPPORTUNITIES - AWANA, Connection Groups, Youth Ministry … these are all tools for you to use as a parent.  Take full advantage of them and love and pray for our folks who volunteer to lead these ministries – they are your allies!

Your church staff supports all our parents and the many approaches to parenting and educating their children to include home school, private school and public school.  We are for you succeeding in your God-given responsibilities as parents.   Go gettum!

Blessings,
Pastor Paul

2 comments (Add your own)

1. Jeremiah wrote:
As one of the few parents who's never made a mistake, I can heartily agree with everything you've said. ...well, okay, maybe I've made a mistake or two. Still, great advice! You guys do a great job of leading by example, thanks for sharing the tips!

April 29, 2008 @ 3:47 PM

2. Alicia Kiser wrote:
So, are you telling me that all kids AREN'T like little Zoei? Because Dave and I are banking on the fact that our future kids will all look and act just like her! J/J! I am glad we have a pastor like you who give give it to us straight! Thanks Pastor Paul!

May 1, 2008 @ 11:37 PM

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